Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Fantastical Feasts: A look at Three Bears brand porridge.


Okay, so we’ve got a quick post here.  A product spotlight/food post.  I spotted this in the CVS when I was buying something and knew I had to do something on Fairy Tale Fandom about it.   Three Bears brand instant oatmeal.
That’s right, a brand of porridge based on everyone’s favorite English nursery tale about breaking-and-entering, petty theft and destruction of property.  Granted, as far as branding goes, it does make more sense than the King of all the Britons shilling flour (much respect to King Arthur Flour as a baking company, though.  Their branding is just weird).
And you have to admire how committed Three Bears is to the reference they’re making.  The slogan for the product is “Just Right.  Every Bite.”  Though, it seems to be a hook for something they’re promoting as a health food.  The packaging boasts that it’s free from the top 8 allergens and that it contains live probiotics.  On the packaging, they bring up the “just right” thing a few times.  Even in the instructions, step three says “Use more or less water for just-right thickness”.   They even get cute with a safety disclaimer.  “Caution: Cup and cereal may be hot, but we designed our cup with a bit of extra room at the top to keep your paws cool.”

So, I tried the apple spice variety and . . . it was okay at best.  Honestly, I wonder if maybe there was too much spice, because I could barely taste any apple.  Though, I’ll admit that I might be picky about my oatmeal (which, I guess is fitting considering the story we’re referencing here).  I grew up with Quaker’s instant apple and cinnamon, which still had some appreciable apple taste to it.  Nowadays, I prefer to make plain oatmeal and then doctor it up myself.  Maybe someday I’ll write a post about how I’d make a bowl of porridge that’s worth breaking into a bear’s house for.
Anyway, if you’re still interested, their website is www.threebearsoats.com.